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Midwivery here vs others places? Input please?

zelphiakat
- 69 posts
December 27, 2011 3:36:24 PM CET

Has anyone on here had a child in the US(UK, OZ, NZ, Canada)- and one here in NL?

I just had my 2nd midwife appt. at 14 wks and it felt like there wasn't any point to it.

She took my blood pressure and listened to fetal heart. And that's it. She didn't ask how I was feeling, or weigh me or give me any general information about this time in pregnancy. And I don't have another apointment til the end of January around 20 wks.

There sill has not been any vaginal exam. It seems weird that you can get so far into a pregnancy halfway with no guidance or full physical exam.

Is it normal that you are sort of on your own to read up on what you should be doing//not doing during pregnancy or to reading up on what might be the sympotons you experience.

I would just like to see if this is the normal midwife experience and how it is done in other countries.

I look forwad to hearing your opinions.
osita
- 2292 posts
December 27, 2011 6:19:56 PM CET

I can't comment on NL procedures as mine were all UK (and quite a number of years ago now), but yours sounds similar to a UK visit. Medical histories and blood tests/blood group check at visit 1, then most others (except the scan visits) are just fetal heart and blood pressure. Full physical? no... that never happened. Vaginal exams aren't (or weren't) really done during the pregnancy until labour commences or until the head drops (4 weeks before), and certainly not during the first trimester for fear of adding to miscarriage risk. In fact, early pregnancy is a bit of a non-event until it's established (after 13 weeks), and somewhat of an anti-climax considering how excited a first time parent is about it.

I'm afraid I'm a bit of an old cynic when it comes to childbirth - I consider it a natural event and not an illness like heart disease that needs medical intervention or constant monitoring: and I certainly prefer midwives who aren't lecturing me on what I should or shouldn't be doing/eating - I much preferred buying books and reading up myself.

Just remember - you're in charge of your body and your baby - and so question everything, don't leave the appointment until you're happy with the answers you get to your questions. It might be that they're very willing to answer them, but when dealing with highly independent native women, they're just not used to being asked for advice!

Congratulations on your pregnancy, by the way!
nerissa
- 345 posts
December 28, 2011 10:31:17 AM CET

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I haven't had a child abroad, but I'm pregnant right now and to be honest, I've been very happy with the care I've received. I have all of my appointments at the hospital (I had surgery early on in my pregnancy so I've been under their care for the duration) and they're usually every four weeks.

Every time I go the appointment is rather quick - how are you? Any complaints? Then they'll take my blood pressure and check the heartbeat or take a quick ultrasound (the nice part about going to the hospital is that they have all that equipment on hand). I've only had one internal exam, when I was about six months pregnant or so, to measure the length of my cervix. I've never been weighed either.

At first I thought it was a bit odd, I thought they would ask me more pointed questions, but instead they ask leading questions and let me lead the conversation with my own questions/concerns/fears etc. They really have a 'take charge of your own body' attitude which I have grown to appreciate. I know when something isn't right within myself, I don't need them to put ideas into my head. Of course at the right times during the pregnancy I've been sent for all the necessary testing (iron levels, sugar, echoes etc etc. And they don't push the genetic testing - it's really your own choice if you want to have it done). I've gone from being quite scared at the beginning to really enjoying my pregnancy and looking forward to an intervention-free (if possible!!) birth. I think honestly a lot of my fears were tied up in how medicalised the birth process is at home (Australia) and the dependence on pain relief (epidural scares the crap out of me).

I do however, find myself walking out of the appointments and ten minutes later slapping myself on the forehead as I've forgotten to ask something, so now I try to write everything down (and blame my baby brain).

I've had a few complications throughout the pregnancy and a few overnight stays in the hospital and if anything, I've found the staff to be over-cautious (keeping me in for extra days when I really just want to go home and feel fine), definitely not the other way around.

Good luck, keep us posted!
flowers
- 14 posts
February 21, 2012 3:21:10 PM CET

ah, this is my favourite topic! I HATE the midwifery system in Holland. I gave birth last year and it was a horrible experience. The only thing a midwife is supposed to do is fetal heart beat and blood pressure. They are not at all concerned about the mother. I had a very difficult pregnancy anyway and on top of all that, the midwife had only one answer for any problems I had: ''it is all normal''. I went over due by two weeks and they had no communication with me at all about what will happen next. Just one day one I was 'forcefully'' induced, I was sent to the hospital with some letter from my midwife which had something scribbled on it. She said nothing to me at all. On reaching the hospital, some nurse announced I would be induced!!! The child I was carrying was HUUUUUUUUUUUGE but of course the dutch money saving behaviour would rather put a mother at risk than have a gyneacologist see her. So 17 hours of painful labour and then they decided it was time for a c-section because the stupid midwives were unable to asses that the child was simply too big for my pelvis. They kept on forcing me to push. Epidural is another issue. It was given to me after 12 hours when the anesthesist was free!!! It was just too inconsiderate and bad for me. All I can say is that the Dutch go a little bit overboard with their ''all natural'' philosophy!
flowers
- 14 posts
February 21, 2012 3:23:22 PM CET

another funny thing, the midwife clinic gave me a so called birthing plan form and I enthusiastically filled it but when I handed it over to her. she looked at me in surprise and said there is nothing to discuss about it at all!
lilachoneybee
- 17 posts
February 24, 2012 7:04:41 PM CET

I had my baby in the NL and it was fine. Not amazing, not terrible. The prenatal appointments were short and mostly just basics, no friendly chat etc. They didn't go into depth about what was happening, though that might have been a language barrier issue. However, I didn't have any complications and did a lot of research on my own, so I didn't feel dependent on them. When I delivered they mostly left me alone until it was time to push. I was home 5 hours after my baby was born. I wouldn't say I bonded or loved any of the midwives, but I didn't have a bad experience either.
zelphiakat
- 69 posts
June 16, 2012 12:25:05 PM CEST

Just an update for those interested... I am coming into the homestretch now and I have come to terms with the Dutch way of being treated. I also had a discussion with the midwife about some of my concerns with them. Which is now noted on my chart!
Also, I would highly recommend taking a class on the birthing process. It felt nice to be told things in English and I didn't feel I needed to rely on my midwife to help fill in the gaps of knowledge. Fingers crossed the delivery is smooth! :-)
nerissa
- 345 posts
June 25, 2012 10:30:32 AM CEST

Good luck with the birth of your baby zelphiakat. I'm glad you've made peace with the process, I hope that everything goes to 'plan' with the birth and you can feel confident you're in safe hands.
luciec
- 1 posts
December 9, 2012 9:06:02 AM CET

Hi there are several articles on this topic at http://www.nomadparents.com/pregnancy I would recommend that you search for mom' s groups in your area (also listed on their site) to get more info about whcih midwife is expat friendly and to be reassured. All the best, Lucie from www.delftmama.nl